Cats Being Dicks

We recently moved to a house with a back yard that I let the dog out into. The cat will wait just out of sight, to one side of the screen door and when the dog comes in the cat ‘slaps’ her repeatedly then runs away.

you better hope she doesn’t invest in a roomba

Years ago, my dad and stepmum had a rescued cat whose slinky beauty beckoned you to pet her, but if you went below the neck or harder than a feather touch, she’d become a terrifying, hissing claw storm. This included when she was lying on your feet when you were napping and you’d shift slightly in your sleep. Ten year old me would chalk it up to her rough life, and happily cater to her delicate nature. That is, until I was chilling on the floor watching X-Files with my parents, and she approached me for what I thought was some gentle head petties. She proceeded to back up and turbo-spray piss all over my chest, then casually left the room. That was a new night gown, you Siamese bitch!

mod note: even if this story wasn’t so funny, I would have posted it purely for your use of “turbo-spray” 

Chelsea